A long post

for everyone, but Anonymous will likely appreciate it the most:

(This quotation is made under fair use. It's a small portion of a chapter in a long work that I've mentioned many times, The Last Western, by Thomas S. Klise.)

Some context:

Willie, who is now a Bishop in the Roman Catholic Church, goes to a prayer meeting of 'Spirit people' (charismatics and Pentecostals) with Mr. Thatcher Grayson. This is a testimony given by one of the people there, the host.

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"The meeting began with the testimonial of Howard Arthur Amboy, the host, who said that since he had received the Spirit four years ago, he had sold more than 150,000 of “what we in the trade call the top doll, the one that says more than a thousand different things, some funny, some sad, some stupid, just as in real life.”

Mr. Amboy, a balding man of about fifty, with thick black brows, produced one of the dolls, a perfect miniature of the wife of the first president of the United States. He squeezed it gently.

My country ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, the doll piped.

“The patriotic first lady,” Mr. Amboy explained. He squeezed again.

George, you know that girl Patrick Henry’s chasing? Her name is Liberty.

“The comedic, human Martha.” Another squeeze.

Before you came along, George, what was I? Just another girl trying to find some meaning in life out there on Pennsylvania Avenue.

“The loving, dependent Martha,” Mr. Amboy said, wiping his black brows. He held the doll up for all to see.

“And people, do you know that when this doll first came on the market, I’d go up and ring a doorbell and think, They’re going to laugh, they’re going to throw up, they’re going to slam the door on my face. The doll is too tricky, it costs too much, it’s not relevant. I talked myself into failure, my brothers and sisters in the Spirit. I was a hopeless man, a figure of despair. Then one day, over on R Street, I heard a voice saying, I believe in you Howard Arthur Amboy – the doll believes in you. Why don’t you believe in us?

“Right then, right there,” Mr. Amboy said, I got on my knees for the first time since my childhood. I felt the Spirit coming into me, I began to pray. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember crying. Really blabbering. My partner, Fred Groove, who since unfortunately blew his brains out, came across the street and said, Howard Arthur Amboy, what are you doing? I said, I’m praising the Lord, Fred Groove. I’m going to turn Martha Washington over to the Holy Spirit. Then, though I don’t remember this, I guess I started squeezing all the dolls I had with me, maybe fifteen or twenty of them with the amps turned up on each one, so that all these sayings came out in a jumble and a crowd started to gather. That day I sold 300 dolls alone.”

“Alleluia!” someone shouted.

“Praise to Jesus!” came another voice.

Amboy raised up the doll once more. “Since that day, brothers and sisters in the Spirit, I sold enough dolls to being in more than $400,000 net, and that is just the beginning. Our district manager, Mr. C. A. Chrisser, is putting me in charge of our new Nathan Hale Firing Squad Program next month. That job, which I owe to the Holy Spirit of God, is sixty big ones per annum and a percent of the flow besides.”

“Alleluia!”

“Amen, and praise to the Lord!”"

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It goes on further, but you get the idea. A scathing portrait of a situation similar to some I have experienced believe it or not, and some I know Anonymous has, too. It's a bit out of context, and I apologize to the owner of the rights to the novel, the family of the author, for that, though I'm grateful for the ability to quote part under Fair Use.

This book was published in the early 1970s, when the Charismatic Movement in the Catholic Church was very young, and followed more Protestant leanings than Catholic in some cases, and there were extremes. The Catholic Church had no context or history with this sort of movement and there was nothing that Catholic Pentecostals could use for guidance. This quotation, while satirical, is quite accurate in some ways, as we (Anonymous and I) can attest. So, there it is... I hope you enjoyed it (Typing it was a bit tedious, I must say, and any errors belong to me alone.)

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